A deep dive into the Euro 2016 Panini sticker album

Major international tournaments and Panini stickers have gone hand-in-hand for as long as we can remember.

It might cost you a tidy sum to complete this year's album, but that's not stopping us from trying. And as we edge closer to finishing off page after page, we've noticed a few things about the player portraits in the Euro 2016 version. Come with us as we take you on a journey. A journey you didn't realise you wanted any part in, but a journey nonetheless. Just a note before we start. We've made up all these back-stories, and any resemblance to real events is purely coincidental.

Group A

With the sticker album having been drawn up ahead of time, it naturally features some players who aren't in their country's squads. That said, we reckon Didier Deschamps picked his squad based on the photos. We can picture him dropping Mathieu Valbuena and Alexandre Lacazette for looking too excited. "Try to dial it back a bit, look at what Olivier's doing. No? Fine, I'm picking Gignac instead." Alexandru Maxim looks like he should be wearing a bead necklace. He probably honed his football skills playing hackeysack on campus, not that that's necessarily a bad thing. Amir Abrashi isn’t sure he can fix your car today. It’s a big task. You’ll pay extra? Well maybe he can move some meetings around. That kind of thing wouldn't work with team-mate Ansi Agolli, of course. He doesn’t believe you when you tell him he’s going to France for the Euros. He’s been tricked before. Admir Mehmedi has just come up with a really funny and really dirty joke, but his girlfriend’s parents are around so he has to wait and it’s killing him. It looks as though he's already told Gokhan Inler, but actually that expression's because he's just heard the phrase 'Premier League champions Leicester City' spoken out loud.

Group B

Nathaniel Clyne somehow has the facial expressions of a Coronation Street mother. We're not sure what it is about him that gives us that impression - he's not even from Manchester - but it's worrying Ross Barkley too. Aleksandr Kokorin and Fedor Smolov are the classic odd couple, and we can't wait to see what shenanigans they get up to in their shared hotel room in France. Kokorin just wants to read? Sorry Aleks, Fedor's having a pizza party and everyone's invited. What do you mean you 'don't care for' the musical stylings of the Vengaboys? Ashley Richards is upset they didn’t list him as ‘Jazz’ in the sticker book. “Sorry, it’s not in the list of approved names”. Adam Nemec played lead guitar for a Canadian pop-punk band in the early 2000s. He’s agreed to go on a farewell tour despite not speaking to the other band members in seven years but he's secretly hoping the singer pulls out at the last minute. He never liked that guy.

Group C

Ilkay Gundogan claims he's out of the tournament with a dislocated kneecap, but only because that's less embarrassing than admitting he ruptured his jaw practising his 'Blue Steel'. He just wishes he could do it as effortlessly as Andre Schurrle, even if he knows there are some things you can't teach. Olexandr Kucher killed a man. Serhiy Sydorchuk witnessed it when he happened to be passing by on his scooter, and was sworn to secrecy. He knows exactly what Kucher is capable of. Kamil Grosicki really shouldn't have ordered the seafood, but it looked so tempting. "I'd do it again," he murmurs while visibly shivering. "They let you pick out your own lobster for €5, Tell me you wouldn't have done the same." Lukasz Piszczek considers raising his hand, before deciding Grosicki has suffered enough. Corry Evans parlayed his two-episode run on Geordie Shore into his own collection of fitness DVDs, and who are we to question that entrepreneurship. We feel a little sorry for Stuart Dallas, though. As he stares wistfully into the distance, remembering an old girlfriend who he still has feelings for. She’s gone, Stuart. She’s gone and she’s never coming back.

Group D

Cesc Fabregas stares wistfully at Andres Iniesta, wishing he could care that little about the onset of male-pattern baldness. Across the way, Sergio Ramos is daydreaming about the most inventive fouls he can possibly get away with. It looks like they've made a mistake on the Czech page. Instead of Jaroslav Plasil, there's a picture of a very well-groomed and very obedient spaniel. Easy mistake to make, mind you. They were probably distracted by the picture of a Kolar next to him. Olcay Sahan looks like everyone in Guess Who, all at the same time. Mehmet Topal just got told he looks like a child's drawing of Giorgio Chiellini. He wants to start arguing but he knows in his heart of hearts that it's true. Ante Cacic calls Alen Halilovic and Mario Pasalic aside before the final squad announcement. "Thinking of facing the other way, Alen? That's it, you're cut. I've warned you enough times. "As for you, Mario, I haven't got a clue what you're trying to do. We had meetings about this. Weeks of meetings."

Group E

Nicolas Lombaerts told his Belgium team-mates he was taking them all for ice cream, but when they got to the place it only sold vegan froyo. It's hit Thomas Vermaelen the hardest, but no one's happy about it. DON’T TOUCH DANIELE DE ROSSI’S FOOD! Wes Hoolahan assumed Ireland beating Germany was a dream. Someone's just set him right. David Meyler has the look of a man who's just remembered a really great sandwich. Best not let him near Daniele de Rossi when Ireland and Italy meet. Kim Kallstrom has just remembered his spell at Arsenal. He goes over to tell Erik Johansson but sees the look on his team-mate's face and slowly walks away after spotting a blade in the near distance. As he walks back up to the front of the bus, he notices that Andreas Granqvist is missing two fingers.

Group F

Ricardo Carvalho is as surprised as you are that Ricardo Carvalho has his own sticker. “The guy who played for Porto in 2004? No way he’s still going. I thought he retired three years ago." We'd been wondering what happened to Puddle of Mudd for years. Luckily we'll be able to find out when we catch up with Birkir Saevarsson. Well, assuming Hannes Halldorsson hasn't eaten his soul by the time we get there. Zlatko Januzovic only wanted a puff to settle his nerves. He’s got a thing about photoshoots, you see. He offered some to Martin Hinteregger too, but he was too busy eating crayons. Nemanja Nikolic has just opened a present he doesn’t really want. A bottle of non-alcoholic wine? What’s the point? Richard Guzmics is the first name on the Hungary team-sheet, but that's mostly because he looks like a pencil and has some kind of weird power over all writing materials as a consequence.