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27th June 2016
08:01pm BST
In terms of playing style, the 27-year-old seems ideally suited to Jose Mourinho's tactics. He is fast, hard-working and lethal on the counter-attack. He scores and sets up goals and can play in a number of positions. That said, he flourished last season playing on the right.
Regarding his outrageously impressive statistics last year at Dortmund, take your fucking pick. He either managed 23 goals and 32 assists, 21 goals and 20 assists, or 11 goals and 15 assists. We've fact-checked this and concluded it was 42 goals and 113 assists in only 26 games. Whatever - it was a lot.
If you're wondering how to actually pronounce Mkhitaryan, you're certainly not alone. There's an Armenian way of saying it, but it'd be a little weird if you suddenly put on a foreign accent, so the best way to explain is that it broadly rhymes with:
Like many of his compatriots, Mkhitaryan is a talented chess player. It led to former boss Jurgen Klopp making these (genuine) remarks: "There’s a reason why the world’s best chess players come from Armenia like Mkhitaryan...they’re thinkers, they’re hard workers, they graft." Expect awful metaphors aplenty.
Computer manufacturers were going to do away with the copy and paste facility, as it was slowly becoming obsolete, but the emergence of Henrikh Mkhitaryan and Dortmund teammate Jakub Błaszczykowski caused them to have a serious rethink.
Henrikh Mkhitaryan doesn't actually exist. He's an internet invention to piss off Arsenal fans. An assist-machine to rival Mesut Ozil who rejected Arsene Wenger to join Manchester United? Fake! Armenia isn't even real country.
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