One man's dirge is another man's disco, but this obsession has to stop.
'The Fields of Athenry' is a miserable lament of a song and has no business geeing up fans before a game at the European Championships.
Because it doesn't work.
Think about the most famous renditions of that song. Anfield in 1995 following Jack Charlton's last game in charge of Ireland and any of the three arse-kickings in Poland four years ago.
It is a song synonymous with defeat and those morale victories we're so fond of.
Pete St John's ode to famine misery is forever tethered to glorious failures, or just failures.
https://twitter.com/noriordan/status/746397135919263744
Yet it is the song Uefa pipe through the stadium PA here in France ahead of every game. It was embarrassing in Lille on Wednesday night ahead of the Italy victory. Nobody sang along. It was a particularly joyless rendition of a joyless song, but are there not a host of songs we could sing ahead of our rendezvous with the hosts in Lyon tomorrow?
Attending the Group B game between England and Slovakia it was noticeable how much enjoyment the two sets of fans got from singing their Uefa-approved songs.
England supporters adore 'Football's Coming Home' and rightly so, it is a masterful piece of Britpop. I have no idea what the Slovakians were singing but they were all singing and it had the rest of us toe-tapping along to a song you could imagine an entire village dancing a polka to in a village square.
It is too late for Sunday's match in Parc Olympique Lyonnais but we are getting behind
Irish Sun chief sports writer Neil O'Riordan's campaign for an alternative to 'The Fields'.
Here are seven alternatives.
Put 'Em Under Pressure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5PT65I2ny8
Hard to argue with O'Riordan's own suggestion. An upbeat song about football that everyone knows the words to. No mention of famine, emigration, death, disease or politics. Just a Horslips riff and lyrics about horsing the ball long and chasing opponents like mad eejits for our cantankerous Geordie leader.
Ooh Ah, Paul McGrath
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMhEcZOT8z8
Lyrics simpler than a Brexit 'Leave' voter who calls up the electoral services looking to change their vote, this songs celebrates one of Ireland's most loved players and is one of the few chants that springs up organically among fans as it is. If supporters feel a need to get political they can still change the words to mention 'The RA'.
Watch Your House For Ireland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBhzj1g-PBM
"Are you watching Jimmy Hill?" Do you remember this abomination released for USA '94? Let's be honest, it was f**king awful but at least it had a nice shouty chorus, some guitar and a few trad pipes. Most importantly there is no mention of famine, pestilence, love lost or prison ships.
Hold Me Now
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qURxESCEENc
Good enough for Bohemians fans, it is good enough for the rest of us. A national treasure of a song that it is impossible to sing without giving it absolute socks. "Don't be afraid the dream's not real... make believe this moment is here to stay". If this is not a potential anthem for Irish football supporters on tour then I don't know what is.
I'm Shipping Up To Boston
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw
I hate this song with all my little black heart but see it as the lesser of two evils. It is the right tempo, tends to make people jump up and down and contort their faces in rage... the perfect warm-up act for an hour and half of misplaced passes, ignored penalty pleas and Aiden McGeady. Over-exposed at sporting events, but then so is that mournful pity party 'The Fields'.
Caledonia
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEwlFt9b1ts
The compromise. An absolute emotional rollercoaster from the seminal 'Woman's Heart' album. Sung by Dolores Keane, it is a slightly less mournful dirge than 'The Fields', which may make the transition easier for dyed-in-the-polyester miserablists.
Maniac 2000
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY17nDW-CX0
Easy to remember lyrics? Check. Right tempo? Check. Liable to make everyone dance up and down like galoots? Check. Uggi uggi uggi. OY OY OY! Hell Mark McCabe would probably agree to play it live for every match. Winner. Uefa, spin that shit.
