If you want to have a night-terror free sleep tonight, then look away now.
If you have any sort of fear-induced bowel issues, then Umbro's new ad campaign is guaranteed to turn your underpants into a modern day Pompeii, albeit smellier.
To gear everyone up for Valentine's Day (pun most definitely intended), the English sportswear manufacturers decided to to showcase the soft side of one of the hardest bruisers in the beautiful game. Real Madrid star Pepe takes centre stage in the new promos, tinkling the ivories and reciting an extremely creepy "romantic" poem.
The kicker, it turns out his romantic gesture isn't aimed at a human at all. Instead, in some sort of sick twist a la Paulie and his love affair with the robot butler in Rocky IV, the love of Pepe's life is revealed to be a pair of boots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlBYQi2f41Q
And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, there's another terrifying promo doing the rounds.
https://twitter.com/umbro/status/697480011452911620
