A Kerryman’s seven-step guide to surviving an All-Ireland final defeat

In sport you have to deal with the highs and the lows.

Ronan O'Gara said that the wins will never cancel out the devastation of losing and for many Kerry fans, it seems very much like that today. But the Kingdom can really have no complaints about being beaten by a wonderful Dublin side that will be certain to only get better under Jim Gavin. But no Kerry fan wants to hear that now, or for the rest of this week at least. They are locked in a cycle of loss that is comparable to the so-called seven stages of grieving. So we've put together a handy guide to identifying the seven stages of loss that every Kerry person goes through after losing an All-Ireland final.

1. Get to Kerry and mourn together

There is safety in numbers and there is comfort in being among your own. With who else would you want to share the devastation of having lost to Dublin, yet again, but a fellow Kerryman or woman. Only they know the true pain of having lost to the county's biggest rivals in Croke Park and will be willing to hear you moan about it for the next six months or more. The journey from Croker to Heuston is fraught with danger as Dubs lie around every corner but if anyone knows how to avoid the city sneer, it's a scalded Kerry fan. Only when the steam is rising on the windows of the train or the silence in the cars heading through Portlaoise and Newcastlewest gets too much, can the post-mortem truly begin. The shock takes a while to sink in but among your own you are safe. There will be no chance of anyone signing 'Champione' in your ear. Unless it's an exiled Dub, and you can always move carriage, or try to fire him through a window around Portarlington. Unfortunately for Kerrymen and women stationed in Dublin, the head will have to be down as much as possible this week and next. They live in exile, in a GAA version of Elba for the coming weeks surrounded by 'd'enemy' only kept alive by the weekly copy of The Kerryman they get in Easons on a Thursday and the Kerry's Eye on a Friday. 2. Mine's a pint What do you say after the county's worst performance in Croke Park in 50 odd years? Or god forbid, Meath 2001. Nothing, instead most fans take solace in alcohol and formulate where it all went wrong in the bubbles and shapes streaked down the inside of a pint glass. Finding a quiet pub for some typically Irish sporting escapism is vital. After three or four drinks the anger begins to spill out as those unable to cope with the loss, or the reality of not having Sam Maguire, begin to open their mouths and become the selector they always thought they were. That's until they wake up on Thursday morning in Ballyduff or Moyvane after going on the tear with a few Kerry footballers and realise that drink was definitely not the answer. And they still lost the final. To Dublin. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCOVozwIJcU 3. Find someone, anyone, to blame  Dublin were deserving winners... BUT That's how most Kerrymen and women will try to be gracious in defeat but deep inside seethe at yet another day when, in their eyes at least, that the GAA conspired against them. Time keeping, the weather, injuries. anything at all to gripe about that may give someone some comfort. And of course management always get a rub, 'we lost it on the line' is pretty much the mantra for every single Kerry loss of all time. Why wasn't Tommy Walsh brought in? Marc O Sé should have started? They should put a roof on Croke Park. All the things that Radio Kerry will have heard today as the fans use their phones to vent their ire at the world once again conspiring against Kerry. 4. Enforce a strict Media/ TV/Radio ban. If you saw the loss in the flesh then there isn't much to be gained from seeing the game reheated and served up to you on a sky blue platter on The Sunday Game. Seeing how Killian Young spilled that ball or the 'stone wall penalty' you hoped for will not make your mood any cheerier. Your best bet is no TV, media or radio coverage for the next few days. Any mention of GAA on televison should be quickly nipped in the bud and all mentions of homecomings must be drowned out as much as possible. For you there is no joy in the world unless it comes with the familiar strains of Weeshe Fogarty and Terrace Talk or it's Daithi O Sé on The Afternoon Show. 5. Stock up on Nostalgia Relive 1975, 1978 and 1984 and 1985 in glorious technicolor with the Kerry Golden years, the 'Jagged Little Pill' of the 1980's for Kerry GAA fans. Every house has a copy and for those lucky enough to have the VHS converted to DVD, you can sit back and enjoy the hours of glory from Paidi to Bomber and everyone else. There is some losses too, but there is more glory than anything. And no chance of Paddy Cullen coming up to take a free or waste time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRSnT7bxKNs 6. Look at the positives There is no positive in losing. The hurt of not winning an All-Ireland is not fully erased until the next time the county gets to bring the 'canister' south of the M50. Yes some players will benefit from the experience and you always learn more from losing than winning and Dublin are a wonderful side from whom Kerry must try to learn. But... who wants to hear that now.  Who wants to hear that James O'Donoghue or David Moran are yet to hit their prime, or that the county's minors also won an All-Ireland title on Sunday. Ok, so there may be some positives after all. 7. Get back to sport. The best way to get over a broken relationship is to start a new one. So get out and watch your club, or the county stars get back into action locally. They will just be as sore as you and believe it or not, having worked much harder than you to get to Croke Park, probably feel even worse this week. So get out of your funk and start living again. Kerry will always be in All-Ireland finals. they will win more than they lose and they will come back again to contest for the All-Ireland title.