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17th July 2017
04:59pm BST

*Disclaimer: What's written about these characters is totally fictional - it might well be accurate, but that is purely coincidental.
Before the final whistle is ever finished blowing, he has his top off.
He's the sort of fella who'll be pictured topless at a festival when it's pissing down raining.
He didn't get himself in such good shape to not show it off.
Every team has one. You'll probably invent an award for him to win at the end of the season for going to every training session and filling up water bottles.
Never misses an opportunity.
That performance won't be good enough to win it again next season.

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