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21st February 2018
02:08pm GMT

3. We can't get the f**king young boys out.
Tell me about it. Boys just don't want to play anymore.
4. Who do you have in the championship?
Ah, you should beat them.
5. Your pitch is in great shape.
Considering the weather, like. You want to see the state of our place. We're not even allowed to train on it until May.
6. You doing much training?
Jesus, don't talk. 6am gym sessions - place has gone mad.
7. Is that you or me that's stinking of beer?
Time for a gentleman's agreement: if you let me score a few points, I'll let you bomb up the field as much as you want.
8. Have you played Wolfe Tones yet? They're hateful b*st*rds up at their pitch.
This will follow with a trading of stories of broken jaws and abandoned games.
9. What ever happened to that lad Emmett that used to play for you?
The drink found him.
10. I hope you're not looking to do too much running.
Jesus, I'll be doing well to last the half, sir.
11. Do you have any boys in the county panel?
This will probably lead to a chat somewhere along the lines of: the fixtures are a joke.
12. Jesus, that's some score boys.
You're allowed to appreciate the other team in March. That will change in summer to, 'you try that again and you'll know all about it.'
13. No idea what he's giving that for, he's being kind to us there.
You can both agree the referee is shit at this time of year. Later in the season you'll be arguing that the punch in the face wasn't a foul and it will lead to the pair of you wrestling on the ground.
14. First time we've touched a football all year.
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