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31st January 2016
04:15pm GMT

3. You can see they've been hitting the weights over winter
Summer translation: There's not enough bloody football being played anymore. They're more worried about squatting than they are about kicking a ball.
4. The new conditioning coach has brought in that new warm-up
Summer translation: Would you look at the state of that nonsense. Just play the bloody game.
5. The psychologist has them entering the pitch like that
Summer translation: Mumbo jumbo.
6. Jimmy will struggle to get back into the team at this rate
Summer translation: For God's sake, when's Jimmy back?
7. If we can push Kerry, we can go all the way
Summer translation: We're not playing league football anymore.
8. He's the free-taker we've been crying out for
Summer translation: He's useless. All he can do is hit free kicks.
9. No-one could touch him in the club championship
Summer translation: This isn't club championship now, son.
10. That's the boy who's just back from Australia
Summer translation: He should've stayed in Australia.
11. Sure you know he was nearly picked up by the Sydney Swans when he was 14
Summer translation: The drink must've gotten to that man. What sort of shape is he in now?
12. Did you read the chairman's three-year plan in the programme?
Summer translation: There's that gobsh*te talking rubbish again.
13. As long as he's ready for the summer
Summer translation: He's only an ol' fairy.
14. We'll not worry about relegation at this stage of the year
Summer translation: That manager needs to go.Explore more on these topics: