Our list of best submissions of 2017 contains more tapping than your highest Flappy Bird score.
Now that the outdated reference is over, we have to offer up a bit of an explainer. Before everyone starts giving out, these are not the definitive best MMA submissions of 2017. That would be impossible to put together because it's just so damn subjective.
For example, the likes of Jacare putting on a jiu-jitsu clinic against an outmatched opponent may be technically more impressive than some of the finishes featured on this list, but the skill differential often make those performances less exciting to look at. So we've tried to go for a good mix of excitement and technical prowess.
15. Jan Blachowicz vs Devin Clark
A very embarrassing choke to get caught in. In Clark's defence, he probably doesn't drill escapes for a standing rear-naked from a bulldog position because it's rarely attempted. To Blachowicz's credit, he had the balls to try it and boy did it pay off.
https://twitter.com/btsportufc/status/921832124679884800
14. Gunnar Nelson vs Alan Jouban
There are a few reasons why this superb Gunni guillotine is so far down the list. Firstly, Jouban is a brown belt whereas Nelson could well be the best BJJ practitioner in MMA on the continent of Europe. Secondly, it was really the stand-up that did the damage - everyone becomes a white belt after they get rocked.
Finally, this is really just par for the course for the Icelander, right? Sinking in that kind of choke with that kind of speed is his bread and butter. Nonetheless, we couldn't omit it from the list.
https://twitter.com/planetamma/status/843873556241022976
13. Ariane Lipski vs Mariana Morais
If the UFC aren't actively trying to recruit 'the Violence Queen' for their newly-introduced women's flyweight division, they seriously need to get cracking. 58 seconds is all she needed to lock this rear-naked choke in and the 23-year-old is more known as a knockout artist.
https://twitter.com/KSW_MMA/status/922192138372288513
12. Ajmal Atalwal vs Krzysztof Golaszewski
It really doesn't get more embarrassing than this. Although this twirling guillotine happened on a regional card, the power of the internet ensured that it was seen in every corner of the globe.
https://twitter.com/Jolassanda/status/838075320196612097?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fcms.sportsjoe.ie%2Fwp-admin%2Fpost.php%3Fpost%3D144100%26action%3Dedit
11. Valentina Shevchenko vs Julianna Pena
Everyone knew 'Bullet' was a beast on the feet heading into this fight, but this was the one the world found out just how good she was on the ground against a much bigger opponent in Julianna Pena.
https://twitter.com/DavidLCarrion/status/825539527443873792
10. Zak Cummings vs Nathan Coy
Slightly late stoppage aside, this was some really great stuff from Cummings. The reflexes, the balance, the grip, the flexibility - just everything about his role in this guillotine was a sight to behold.
https://twitter.com/ufc/status/853347540263030784
9. Diego Brandao vs Murad Machaev
The former UFC Dublin headliner put his BJJ black belt to use during this Fight Nights Global 58 fight. Using sheer strength to raise his opponent was one thing, but locking in the armbar on the descent was the finish the move deserved.
https://twitter.com/BloodsportTV/status/825510025414209537
8. Suman Mokhtarian vs Sam Chan
His poor spine!
https://twitter.com/Jolassanda/status/891261440140746752?
7. Brian Ortega vs Cub Swanson
'T-City' thrust himself a little further into the UFC featherweight title picture with this solid guillotine over crafty veteran Swanson. Adjusting his grip mid-choke was impressive, but it was just how clinical he was in the finish that dropped our jaws to the floor. Remember, Cub is a black belt.
https://twitter.com/RyronGracie/status/939742945682452486
6. Brett Johns vs Joe Soto
Soto must still be kicking himself over shooting in for that single leg takedown, but the Welshman's finish was flawless. This was only the second calf slicer in UFC history, with Charles Oliveira grabbing the first against Eric Wisely in January 2012.
https://twitter.com/btsportufc/status/938806840845938688
5. Davi Ramos vs Chris Gruetzemacher
You're looking at an ADCC champion in action. He has still plenty of room for improvement in the striking department, but on the ground, Ramos will cause problems for a lot of fighters in the stacked 155 lb division.
https://twitter.com/waqasdubai1/status/939698068387172353
4. Suman Mokhtarian vs Magana Kiewon
Mokhtarian is the only fighter to feature twice on this list with this submission somehow being rarer than his other entry. This 'Teepee choke' was the first of its kind in MMA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFh3AdR-oyk
3. Oleksiy Oliynyk vs Viktor Pesta
With 10 Ezekiel chokes on his record before signing for the UFC, it was only a matter of time before Oliynyk registered the first one ever seen inside the Octagon.
https://twitter.com/UFC_France/status/821084383616516102
2. Jonno Mears vs Aaron Jones
We couldn't omit this one. Boston Crab, Walls of Jericho... whatever you want to call this submission, we just call it number two on our list.
https://twitter.com/AmyMMA/status/914518927081910272
1. Demetrious Johnson vs Ray Borg
There was only ever going to be one winner this year and it just happens to be the one with the worst name. The great Demetrious Johnson has the right to call this beauty whatever he wants, it's just unfortunate that it will forever be known as the 'Mighty Wiz Bar'. That's like naming a supermodel 'Gubnet'.
https://twitter.com/FightPy/status/918123561239416832
It never gets old.
https://twitter.com/UFC_latino/status/918536674115809280
