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22nd September 2023
04:47pm BST

"I was born in South Africa and I can't change that," he tells me. "I'm South African, but I played 50 Tests for Ireland. To turn over now and to support the Springboks would be... I don't know. For me, I'm an Irishman. "That's who I'm gonna back on the weekend. Even if they don't play well, that's my team."The 33-year-old has been recently announced as international ambassador for the British and Irish Trading Alliance (BITA), and is putting his weight, and name, behind an initiative to build 1,000 homes and schools in some of South Africa’s poorest townships.
"I like to lift heavy stuff and look like I'm busy," he jokes, before explaining into how 'giving a leg up' to the disadvantaged is a new driving passion for him, along with spending more time with his wife, Jean-Marie, and young daughter.
As for rugby, that may be permanently on the back-burner. He lined up in 'an old boys game' four weeks ago and popped the AC joint in his shoulder. He is still having difficulty showering and sleeping properly and Jean-Marie sprinkles scolds, reminding him why it was he retired in the first place. Our chat spans 30 enjoyable, revealing minutes as he discusses Munster's recent United Rugby Championship triumph, being told he was 'too small for the Springboks', the "dangerous" RG Snyman and Jean Kleyn, and why he was upset at rumours he was leaving Ireland, in 2021, to play rugby back in his native South Africa. [caption id="attachment_195012" align="aligncenter" width="640"]
CJ Stander during an Ireland captain's run at Aviva Stadium, in 2018. (Photo by Brendan Moran/Sportsfile)[/caption]
"I went through a phase where I just went into my shell a little," he admits. "I wanted to impress people what I was doing work-wise, though, and I was just head-down working as hard as I can, in construction, over the last two years. And I quickly forgot that I played rugby because I was in the middle of these big contracts, left, right and centre and then heading on to sites where dust is blowing and there's bricks and grinders everywhere."After two years of trying to move on from being a rugby player, he went back to the family farm and had a chat with Jean-Marie, his wife. It was okay, he reasoned, to slow down and appreciate the rugby career he had been through before going completely headlong into what was next. The couple acquired a property in Franschhoek and opened up a guest-house that he jokingly refers to as 'a boutique hotel'. It allows the young family to spend a bit more time with each other. Stander does the school runs for his daughter, Everli, and even dressed her up in an Irish jersey for 'Bok Friday', last week. "I saw an Instagram video saying that you've only really got four years with your children, to yourselves," he says. "After that, they start growing up and start moving on. Seeing that thing shook me and I was like, 'Well, I need to spend time with her'. Then we sort out the day and I go back, later, and pick her up in my work gear. To spend that time with her, and see her growing, means so much." Another thing that means so much to Stander, and you suspect always will, is Munster Rugby. He arrived in Limerick at the age of 22 and will never forget how 'Axel' Foley invited himself and Jean-Marie around to his place for dinner with the family, when they were settling in. Nine years later, he moved on after forever making a name for himself at a province were digging deep is the ground floor requirement. A friend asked him, when he was at DHL Stadium in Cape Town for the URC Final, why he was not out on the pitch celebrating with his old teammates as they ended their long wait for silverware. Along with Jean De Villiers, another Munster old boy, he had been on commentary duty for the game.
"I do know a lot of them still but I wasn't part of that last two years, where they actually put the shoulder to the wheel and worked hard to win that. I wanted to give them that room to celebrate with that pride and joy, because it was unreal. "I promise you, the whole week in Cape Town, it was Stormers, left, right and centre. Then the Irish started to arrive and they were thinking, oh we could be in trouble. I was so delighted... when you play for a team for nine, 10 years and you want them to do good and suddenly they come through and win something, I was just so emotional. I couldn't believe it. I event felt a bit sick, on the Monday and Tuesday, and I don't think it was that mix of alcohol and partying too long! Just emotionally, because it was a journey for me as well."Stander's only wish from that final, he says, was that the final could have been in Limerick so every fan of the club could experience of being there when that long wait for a trophy [11 years] ended. "I was delighted for the coaching staff and players. I saw [team manager] Niall O'Donovan and he's a man that doesn't cry and I saw him and I just... we just hugged each other for like 10 minutes. After a while, I was like, 'This is getting awkward, you need to leave!'" [caption id="attachment_293097" align="aligncenter" width="640"]
Munster coach Graham Rowntree, right, and team manager Niall O'Donovan. (Photo by Seb Daly/Sportsfile)[/caption]
"After full-time, in the game," he recalls, "we were jumping up and down, celebrating, near where Pete [O'Mahony] was doing interviews. I got a message, with a picture, from a mate of mine and he was like, 'Who's that guy you're hugging and jumping around with?' "I replied, 'That's Marcus Horan - he's old-school Munster!' When I arrived, he was still playing and was not long finished with Ireland. So, it was great to experience it with someone who's gone through the good and the bad."Stander and De Villiers were there for a great post-match interview with O'Mahony and Graham Rowntree. Joking that O'Mahony, in training and in matches, is 'probably one of the most grumpiest people you've ever seen and talked to', Stander stresses that the Cork native only drives and cajoles teammates as much as he drives himself. "He leads with example... he's special, you know. You could see how much it meant for him even in that interview afterwards, he was so giddy. Jean and all the guys were there, listening, and when Pete walks away, Jean just goes, 'That was unreal'."
"I went through it, I'm telling you now. I went through it every week, even playing for Ireland. "I remember it was, say, my 45th cap. Around that week, I would text my wife and say, 'I'm not going to make it, I'm not going to be part of the team this weekend'. And she'd be like, 'Don't worry, you'll make it'. "I would be so stressed about it and I think Keith has gone through a lot, as well. It's great that he can speak about it because, from the outside, if you look at a professional guy, it doesn't matter what he does, you always think these guys got it in line, they know they're gonna play. I'm telling you, it's not like that."To look back on Stander's career, and remembering what a tyro he was on the pitch, it is hard to imagine that he would be plagued with self doubt. When you go back to his days in South Africa as he tried to make that final, brutal cut in professional rugby, you can see where he was coming from. He always felt as if he needed to prove someone wrong. That goes back to when he was just 21 years old, and told he was too small to ever make it as a Springbok. [caption id="attachment_293098" align="aligncenter" width="1024"]
South Africa's Ruan Dreyer (L) and CJ Stander (C) celebrate after their team's victory in a 2010 IRB Junior World Championship 3rd place Play-Off against England, in Rosario, Argentina. (Photo by Emiliano Lasalvia/Getty Images)[/caption]
"Those words were spoken directly to me and my dad, actually. "It is a bit of an urban myth and it's been blown up a little, but when that was said to me, yes, I was broken. I sat there and I couldn't believe it. "My dad was there and he was like, 'All right, that's it. Let's go back to George and farm now'." "I still had a contract [with the Bulls] and I stilled played Currie Cup that year. But as a 21-year-old, that just broke me. It wasn't because I was too small in the gym or weight wise... well, a little weight-wise, as well, but it was more most about length, you know. How the hell do you get taller? "I remember Googling all the guys that I thought, at that stage, were some of the best players - obviously Richie McCaw, and Sam Warburton, guys like that. I was the same height. I couldn't believe. I just couldn't understand it. "When I look back now, I took that all in. I was angry. I was a young guy, at 21. When someone stops you in your tracks, you get angry. So I was angry. I took that anger and I turned it into my training, my performances. I probably didn't step back and reflected until 2013, 2014 when I started playing week in, week out. For a long time, I still had that anger and drive to prove everyone wrong."Stander tapped into that anger again, around 2016, when what he calls 'the two percenters' mad it known that he should not play for Ireland. Aged 25 when he made his Ireland debut, Stander was still using the doubts of the few and whipping it up into something he used to push on. "I said, 'Right, I'm gonna be the strongest, fittest there.' It might only be 1 or 2% of the people saying something negative out of 100 people. I took those 100 people and pretended that everyone doesn't want me, you know? I just said to myself, you need to work hard because they're waiting for you to fail." After a while, says Stander, he really did start to enjoy his rugby and realise he was valued. He would still lean on Jean-Marie for those moments of doubt, whenever they crept back in, but she was always at the end of the phone, be it a call or a message, to tell him he was where he always wanted to be. [caption id="attachment_293099" align="aligncenter" width="640"]
CJ Stander of Ireland. pictured during the 2020 Guinness Six Nations. (Photo by Ramsey Cardy/Sportsfile)[/caption]
"It was tough," he admits, "but then I looked at it and realised that everyone doesn't know you. They don't know you personally. So it is easy to think that someone, when they retire [from Test rugby], is going go back and play again, especially if you haven't met that guy. "But you've met me multiple times before. I think that I always try to stick to my word. When I used to walk in a room, to do media, I would shake everyone's hands. I wanted them to know that what I'm going to say here, now and next, is what I believe and it's in my words. "When I first said in my statement that I was done, people didn't fully believe it because I was young. I'm still young now, I'm 33. It was tough, at the beginning. When I look back [on retiring] now, the world is funny. People go back on their words, people change and they do different things to what they say. But at least I know that I stuck to my guns."[caption id="attachment_293102" align="aligncenter" width="640"]
CJ Stander is applauded off the pitch, after his final game for Ireland in March 2021. (Photo by Ramsey Cardy/Sportsfile)[/caption]
"We'll be trying to help people who are struggling at the moment, because life is tough. I see a lot of talent that goes to waste, not just in sport. I'm talking in general... When you go around, in South Africa, the amount of talent that's out there; it's true. Some people are never getting that glimmer of hope, or getting that leg up. "That's probably why I wanted to jump on board with this project. Even if it's just helping someone to sleep under a roof, just doing something make sure that we can give back."Sometimes we take life for granted, we don't look at people suffering around us. I've got this opportunity to use my voice and my connections to get people together." ****************
In November this year, 20 BITA members including President Paul Whitnell will travel to South Africa to join ambassador CJ Stander in the building of 1,000 homes and schools for those in need and are actively seeking participation from construction firms and their employees.
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