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18th March 2015
03:50pm GMT

What did the marketing geniuses at Nike decide to name this monstrosity, you ask? Well, the boot is called the "Superfly CR7 Silverware" of course. Despite resembling something David Bowie threw out during the Ziggy Stardust years for being too gaudy, CR7 is expected to debut the boots in this weekend's El Clasico.
They might not look like the most fearsome footwear on the planet, but perhaps they could serve a secondary function. Given how reflective they appear, CR7 could literally blind the opposition with an artful flick of his ankle to catch the sun at just the right angle.
If that doesn't work, they could just be garish enough to harm the opposition's vision without harnessing the power of the sun.
Hat-tip to Who Ate All the PiesExplore more on these topics: